My grief lays like a thick blanket on me. Sadness has settled into my bones. Despair weighs me down. I move through life dragging my heavy limbs. I'm underwater. My back hurts. My head is a fog. I want to lay down and sleep. I want to sleep for days.
I push through most of the time. Kids need to be fed, and loved and I'm afraid if I stop moving now, I'll never start again. Sometimes though, the thick, muffled hands of my grief reach up and pull me down. I am overwhelmed with thick sleepiness. I am engulfed.
Grief so deep you don't know if you'll ever get out. This is beyond difficult and things will never be the same again. Your loved ones are with you on this dark and rough road, and there's solace in that, I hope. Don't forget to come up for air from time to time. In the meantime, though, I'm listening. Sheila
ReplyDeleteLife will push us to the edge sometimes. It is meant to strengthen us and cause us to hold tighter to what we have, siblings, family, kids and grandkids. There is an empty place at the Penrose table here on earth but another spot has been filled in heaven. Don't allow that empty place to be filled with despair but rather fill it with wonderful memories of times past. At times like this I wish I was closer but decisions made many years ago were guided by faith and a power beyond us all and that same faith and power will pull us all through this. The power lies in being able to get up and move on but never ever forgetting the past. I am not next door but I am at the end of a telephone line 24 hours a day if needed. Be strong, your kids and your husband need you to be the best you can be and I know your mother would expect nothing less of you as well. We have all been changed in an instant but your mothers energy and life force still exists and will live on in our hearts.
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