Thursday, March 17, 2016

It's Coming

Spring, that is. 

It seems we are being blessed with an early Spring and I couldn't be happier. The last two winter previous to this one have been so long and so brutal, that I wasn't ready to face it again. 

This morning I ran up to Swords, and paused by the marsh. Even though it's still locked in ice, it is alive with sounds. Red winged blackbirds,  geese,  and the sound of the ice breaking and cracking filled the air. 

Soon, with a rise in temperature, that same air will be filled with the sound of spring peepers. 

I love early spring. Hope, anticipation and so many beautiful things to come.


Friday, February 26, 2016

The Cashew

So, you think you're doing pretty good. You think, wow. So lucky am I to have perfectly average kids with no issues. 

And then your world gets turned on its head. 

Both of my kids have had peanuts and almonds and granola bars and Thai food and mixed nuts.


I suppose Henry had never actually consumed a cashew. 

Both kids had a small bowl of trail mix (raisins, cranberries, peanuts and cashews) after dinner on Tuesday.  I was watching Clare eat. She held up a cashew and said, "wat dat?"  

At that moment, I thought, wait. She's never had a cashew this okay?

Simultaneously, in the kitchen, Henry had also ingested a cashew. Told Rick something was wrong and immediately started to throw up everything he has ever eaten.   His face started swelling. Red cheeks. Blisters on his lips. 

Into the car for the fastest drive to town I've ever piloted.  

When we arrived at emergency we were ushered in immediately. Two shots of epinephrine, IV of two antihistamines and an oral steroid finally got Henry back to being Henry. 

I never thought I'd be a parent of a child with anaphylaxis, but here we are. The ER nurses kept commenting on how calm I was. 

There are two reasons for that. 

One: it is what it is. I knew what it was as soon as he started throwing up. It's manageable. I've worked with many kids with it. It's fine. 

Two: as I was driving in, I felt frantic. I asked my mom to be with me. I said, "mom, I need you here now". As a nurse, she was the ultimate calm in medical emergencies. She was with me. 

So. Henry is anaphylactic to some nuts. We go on. 

Thursday, January 28, 2016


Tomorrow is a day I will never forget. 

January 29. 

I will never forget where I was and what I was doing when my sister called me to tell me that my mom had died in a car accident. I heard the news sitting on Henry's bed. 

I remember strange details vividly. What boots I wore outside to tell Rick. I could not find my winter boots and threw on my rain boots, walking out in the snow with no coat. Nothing. 

After, other calls were made and received in absolute shock. I didn't crash until the day after. Spending the day in my pajamas, sobbing, and taking phone calls and visitors. I am so grateful to those who visited me and called me that day. 

So. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will remember, as I do every day. But tomorrow especially. Tomorrow I will visit my mom, and spend time with two of my three siblings. 

Tomorrow I have also planned some enjoyable things to do for myself. My mom would not want me wallowing. She would want me to enjoy my life, and do things that she would also enjoy. 

Tomorrow is a day to remember.