Keep Your Chin Up

I hope you know what if feels like to have someone be consistently proud of you.   I hope you have someone in your life that can always impart a quiet wisdom, that can bolster your confidence and build you up from the inside out.  I hope that there is someone in your life that can make you feel better just for having been in their presence.  A person that affirms what you know in your soul to be true.

 

I know what that feels like, and I am grateful everyday.

 

I have been feeling particularly defeated lately.  My saving grace has been my Grandad's voice in my ear -

 

"KEEP YOUR CHIN UP".

 

I am.  And I will.  Because his pride in me is a light that I refuse to let be extinguished.

 

 

My Grandad and my daughter, Clare on Christmas Eve 2014.

 

Christmas Tree

Christmas trees are magic.

There is comfort in the glow of the light,  and wonder held in its branches.

I love our tree. Years ago I decided on a white, glass and metallic theme and haven't looked back.  Before kids, I was known to decorate and redecorate the tree twice, and once THREE times.  I don't think I've ever told anyone else that but for my husband.  I was that set on perfection.

Now I am just happy to get it up in a timely manner, and you know what?  It doesn't look that much different or any less perfect that the years I redecorated it multiple times.

I hope my kids get from our tree what I do.  Hope and light, mystery and magic.

 

 

Our Mystery

Saturday morning, Clare woke up saying "owl, owl, owl".  She was pointing at the window in our room and over the edge of the bed.  She seemed surprised to find there was no owl in the room and was clearly trying to tell me that there was *something* going on in that room.  We lay in bed for a little while, and she kept on with "owl" and pointing.  To the ceiling, to the window, and continually to the floor beside the bed.

  

This morning, upon waking, Henry and I found a feather in our living room.  It's a few inches long and is not from one of our down comforters or jackets, Nor is it a craft feather.  It definitely came in from outside.

 

I'm not sure exactly what is going on, but as Henry said, "we"ll have to keep our eyes open!"

 

 

 

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, if I wanted to see a fantastic sunrise, I needed to plan. To get up early and go somewhere outside of my house. Once upon a time I lived in a subdivision. Up until we moved to Maple Lake, I had lived in subdivisions all my life. I didn't realize how much it was changing the way I thought and acted until I moved here.  

Now I can wake up, look outside and see something wonderful. Something that inspires and sustains me.  

A few weeks ago, my Grandad was visiting and told me that I'd changed since we moved. I know I have. I feel like moving here has helped me move backwards in time- back to a time of more hopefulness and inspiration, childlike wonder and a feeling that anything is possible. 

All thanks to a sunrise.  

Moving Through Time

It's 5:50 a.m. and I am awake, drinking coffee in my kitchen.  The ice is so loud this morning that I can hear it inside.  It's -14C.  The ice becomes louder as the temperature drops. 

The Christmas tree glows behind me and the coffee maker continues on it's annoying tick, tick, tiiiick that I only seem to hear when no one else is up.  Time is ticking, too.  It's now 5:53 and I wait.  This morning I am waiting for the phone to ring - hoping that I will be called to teach.  Supply teacher worries.

I haven't written in six months.  It's not because I haven't had anything to say, and it's not because I have been too busy.  I don't know.  My attention is divided, I suppose.  Time slips away and while I am constantly filled with words, I often struggle to let them out. 

This morning I was moved to pick up a pencil and put it to paper, which is the way I used to start all of my writing.  A simple pencil and paper.  And with that, Clare is stirring and my time here is done.  5:57 a.m.

Birthday

Today is Clare's first birthday.

 

At 10:21 pm on Thursday, June 20th, 2013, my sweet girl was placed in my arms for the first time.  Immediately, I felt an overwhelming sense of contentedness and completeness.  I had never felt so whole as I did in those moments.

 

Clare has completed our family.  She brings light and joy into our days.  She makes us smile and laugh.  She amazes me everyday.  Each and every time I look into her eyes, I am taken by their brightness and her undeniable intelligence.

 

Clare bear, you will do amazing things in your life, and I can't wait to watch.

 

 

June Days

My husband, my daughter, and I were all born in June. 

 

It really is the loveliest month.  Fresh greens, soft blooms and butterflies abound.  The days are warm but not oppressive and the nights are cool.  The air is sweet, and all of the birds start to sing their summer time songs.

 

The mosquitoes are certainly terrible this year, and I am finding myself inside more often,  but when the wind is up and the sun is shining, it's simply perfect.