Moving Through Time

It's 5:50 a.m. and I am awake, drinking coffee in my kitchen.  The ice is so loud this morning that I can hear it inside.  It's -14C.  The ice becomes louder as the temperature drops. 

The Christmas tree glows behind me and the coffee maker continues on it's annoying tick, tick, tiiiick that I only seem to hear when no one else is up.  Time is ticking, too.  It's now 5:53 and I wait.  This morning I am waiting for the phone to ring - hoping that I will be called to teach.  Supply teacher worries.

I haven't written in six months.  It's not because I haven't had anything to say, and it's not because I have been too busy.  I don't know.  My attention is divided, I suppose.  Time slips away and while I am constantly filled with words, I often struggle to let them out. 

This morning I was moved to pick up a pencil and put it to paper, which is the way I used to start all of my writing.  A simple pencil and paper.  And with that, Clare is stirring and my time here is done.  5:57 a.m.

Over

Although it isn't true fall yet, summer is officially over.  The lake is quiet once again, and the days are growing shorter and the nights cooler.

 

My summer went by in a flash.

 

A newborn baby and a toddler will suck your time away like nothing else.  It is time well spent, and I know that even the trying moments are worth it a million times over in the end.

 

The last August sunrise -

 

 

 

My sweet little time sucks -

 

 

...and then I see the diamond dust on everything.

Sometimes life takes us down difficult paths.  Ones that are hard to traverse, and often leave us wondering why.  Oftentimes these are paths we've chosen for ourselves.  It's important to remember that's it's all worth it in the end. 

 

My mornings these days are full of spit-up and poop and kids that need me, and even though I'm often left wondering why, I never forget that they are my diamond dust and I am a lucky, lucky person.

Title from : Grant Lee Phillips, Strangest Thing